Tuesday, December 20, 2005
SUPERSTAR JOURNEY
well.. this should be an interesting topic...
haha..
yeah just in case some poeple dunno.
i joined campus superstar. yeah.
i can't believe i did that..
i know many people will not believe but this is actually the first time i'm singing on stage with so many audience.
i'm a 'singing performance experience zero' person...
hahaha...
so yeah. this time is my breakthrough time!
haha.. first time and it wasn't bad at all..
looking back at it..
i was bringing a fun-loving attitude in this competition and able to hit the top 25 girls is already a super cool thing to me...
i realised. its not easy to climb this far with such a playing attitude u know?
hahaha...
its kinda cool...
1st audition!
having to sing in front of so many strange faces without knowing what they think about my voice is damn cool and freaky!
the 1st song was good. managed to impress the judges i guess..
cos they actually neglect the 3 other songs which i sang and went out of tune. hahaha...
i pulled through the 1st round.
i din know that my entry can make my family so excited...
i was surprised by their reaction...
2nd audition!
u can neber imagine. singing in front of only less than 10 person can freak u out even more than singing before so many people!
surprising isn't it?
but this one was more dramatic!
those girls i'm competing with are really pretty man..
some put on super thick make-ups, some don't bother about how they look.
some like me. practise none stop. some make weird noises considering it as 'opening' voice.
some dance super vigorously...
we were told to have some warm up and try on the waiting room's stage.
almost everyone tried singing on that stage but i din.
thought it was super embarassing. my mum kept asking me to go up and 'try'!
with my character! no way...
some were good. some dance to scary. some sang like for the ants? some just normal and cool.
all kinds.
i was freaking out. though i thought i was just having fun. haha...
wait wait wait. finally my turn.
saw people crying and some jumped with the 'i got in' paper.
super funny!
den when its my turn, its not funny.
i sang only 2 short verses of 2 songs. and they stopped me..
i was like 'damn' i'm out.
the previous girl who got in sang 4 songs?!
judges were considering as my heart almost thump out!
and finally!
"ti ning ti ning ti ning!"
the light was green and i got in!
i jumped ON THE SPOT!
they laughed at me! super pai sey lah!
argghh... shoudn't have done that......
continue with the sad part tml. really tired now!
words that are true from fatty
9:57 AM
ok. i'm surprisingly blogging again...
what's wrong with me?
i dunno...
i got so busy and tight up..
BUT. i din know wad i actualli did..
ok. sorry...
i'm lost here...
anyways... yeah..
things i've given to do, i din do well...
things i'm expected to succeed, i din succeed...
things i'm supposed to do, i din do...
damn! what's wrong with me!!
i'm not moving.. stuck somewhere, somehow...
its not that bad. yet, i just can't describe how it feels like...
lost u know?
did so many things, yet none make me feel accomplished in this holiday.
if i don't do? who's gonna do??!!
i'm contradicting myself! damn!!
ahhhh!!! what am i doing!!!
i don't even know myself these days.
is busy good or what?
haiyo..........!!!!!!!!!!!
words that are true from fatty
9:50 AM
Monday, December 12, 2005
haha.. hu still read this damn dusty blog?
well.. here i go again...
to confess...
i have not been doing well in my life.
had been telling pple to be strong and positive.
i was beaten this time...
those that really know me will understand me..
i wun share my prob until i'm going to burst!
hahaha...
this time. i'm saved from all these...
last few weeks..
have been sturggling with me, myself and i...
time was pushing me...
responsibilities are pushin me..
negativeness has overcomed me...
tiredness has taken me...
well... i was so busy!
i din know i missed out a lot thruout these days...
i din know i've hurt my frens.
i din know i've dissapoint people.
i din know that though i've met people's expectations yet,
i din enjoy myself!
well.. its all gone..
i'm back! eileen's back!
i'm saved!!!! thank GOD for that!
learnt to be strong again!
learnt to grow!
learnt to accept!
learnt to know how to maximise my life!
learnt how to be more sensitive!
people. jia you le!
words that are true from fatty
8:19 AM
Monday, November 14, 2005
hey guys, only if u're reading this.
just wanna let u all know that i'm serious about the chalet.
my schedule is.
15 nov: work (7am to 3pm)
bible conference in church (7pm to 10pm)
16nov: work (7am to 3pm)
chalet with my peeps (all the way)
17nov: leave for work (9am to 5.30pm)
18nov: work (7am to 3pm)
choir practice (7pm to 8.30pm)
19nov:OGL camp (8am onwards)
20nov: service 5 (11.30am to 1.30pm)
superstar? (onwards)
21nov: break
22nov: sentosa for OGL
23nov:squash camp
24nov:squash camp
bleh bleh bleh....
this is how tight my schedule is... just in case u dun understand.
i'm trying to make this chalet a good one.
its short, but i priortise it no matter what.
it hurts when one after another tells me they can't or dun wanna come..
i'm trying my best.. really...
i'm so afraid that i might breakdown halfway...
but please, help me....
let all these be worthwhile...
i pray and pray that i can move on..
frens? it canno tbe measured in coming for a chalet, yet...
it mean a lot to me.. esp in such a schedule.
i've tried my very best...
have you??
-hurt-
words that are true from fatty
8:24 AM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
SuRprisE!!!!
those who have been faithfully viewing my blog which stinks now! hahaha.... here is a surprise blog...
well.. promos are over!!!!!!!! PraiSe the Lord....
finally this day we have all been aniticipating has come to pass.
well. i miss my peeps surely.. never less den before.
so those who's 'missing peeps' is reduced, please be ashame!
muhahahaha... obviously i'm happy like crazy!
anyway.. i got lost somewhere, somehow in my life..
but i'm gettin ok~ so smiles.
i'm still here and everything's alright!
just to let u guys know.
finally, i received my breakthrough in relationship with my classmate.
getting better each day..
i feel more natural..
and feel that sometimes my fatty side will be revelaed without knowing.
u guys know its a good news isn't it?
i believe u all will be happy for me.
after all , u guys are the ones that saw my thorugh my loneliest side when i first step into MJC.
its not so bad after all.
God is still good to me.
so anyone reading this.
thank you for still caring about me.
i really appreciate and hey~
next meeting coming up!!!! woohoo...
and!!! so is my birthday.
dun forget like how i forget jo's ok?
sorry jo tay char char.. hahahaha....
oh ya!
exams are kida hard. pray that i wun retain! woohoo.
i know i wun~!!!
words that are true from fatty
6:51 AM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
friends?
i wonder why. i'm about to cry when i'm blogging this.
i'm not sad, i dunno. feelings mixed.
issit that easy to give up 1 great friendship?
i tasted it so many times tat i'm sick of it.
to tell the truth, i've never dare to trust 100% when anyone says we'll be frens for long.
and it came true.
i know i have my flaws and mistakes. i wun deny any of them.
u just got to tell me, i'll accept it and try to change.
sound so weak and lousy, yet, tat's how people grow isn't it?
i'm kinda disappointed.
all the hopes and dreams of how we're gonna meet up in the future as who we are gonna be. yeah. just gone.
i'm surprised how one thing can change one person so fast.
i'm amazed how words can kill relationship.
i'm shocked how people can remember what others promised and forget wad he promised himself.
i'm sorry for all tat i've done wrong.
i hope van is reading this blog.
remember how we used to shop when we're in sec 1 and 2? we bought almost all the same things?
remember how much more popular u are compared to me?
remember how jh sided u and jiang sided me?
remember how we 4 talked at playground?
remember how people will misunderstand when we show them the neoprint of the 4 of us?
remember how we manage to get to know bl they all and had a great hoo-ha out of that?
remember how we turned away from one another?
remember how it hurt to lose 1 best fren?
remember how we were there for one another when we lost our guy?
remember how we lost jh and yj?
remember how we reconciled?
remember how we formed a wonderful gang?
remember how we manage to find back the great frenship and frankness we had after reconciling?
remember how u go gaga over zaid when toking to me?
remember how i consulted u when i had probs wif pl and jo?
remember how we were so sure that we wun fall for the same guy?
remember how we had our mooncake festival?
remember how glad we were when we found this frenship back?
remember how we really talk and share with one another bout each of our life?
remember how we compromise to one another?
remember how we find each other for movies all the time?
remember how we tried to stick close and think of ways to gather?
remember how far we dream about each other in the future?
remember how u 3 came my house and we talked and killed ray with our words?
remember how we offered our time for one another?
remember how we encouraged each other to study hard and chiong?
remember how we studied together that night?
remember how we regretted over many frenships that came past us?
remember how great we felt sharing all the past together?
remember how we went thru our sec sch lives with one another?
remember how we know each other so well, we don't need to explain and we'll know?
remember remember?
wad i said was from my heart. i tot u could take it. i was risking our frenship for an understanding. but i failed. i din regret. u noe me. i hope u wun too. u have regretted once, i dun hope it will happen again. only u yourself know the answer. we'll grieved over this loss, we know that things will no longer be the same. but u so sure? after all all all that we've went thru? this is the end? no one thinks that u're the mean one. no one! but indeed, u did change! i mean change is constant always. everyone in the gang cares. u may think they're standing at my side. but there's so many things that we've done for one another, including u and me. the same amount! u think they wun bother bout wad u feel? u're wrong van. we love u as a fren. u noe it. think about it.
yeah. i'm trying to salvage this frenship. though u said dun bother to, and u might not read my blog animore. you r still my fren in my heart. your blog will still be read and felt. u may do anithing to cut off this tie. yet, i promise, i wun do anithing to compromise to this cutting. i'll still view your friendster profile. your blogs. your photo album. to know that u're alright.
u know how much it hurts to do this.
u r not that strong. u can despise me for trying to predict u. yet i still know tat, u're not that strong.
words that are true from fatty
10:18 AM
Monday, June 13, 2005
to van
hey girl. this post is just for u.
i kinda know how it feels like to lose a man that u fell for...
i totally understand that is pain, its hard and its unforgettable.
things just don't seemed right when someone who's always by your side suddenly disappear.
it just dun feel good and dun feel right.
every night, images and memories just flows back into your mind?
when u try to force urself to sleep, its like you'll dream of him?
ITS HARD!
and you'll cry.
people around persuade you to forget and let him go.
yet deep within? only u and urself know.
we as frens can only be angry and be there for you.
yet we will never be able to feel wad you felt.
just wanna let you know.
we'll always be herE?
i believe right now all you need is just
a little strength
a little love
a little boldness
a little time
a little cruel
a little sacrifice
and lots of frens? haha..
we're here.
ITS NOT EASY!
but u make the decision and i believe.
u can do it. just like in the past.
time heals. it realli does. so relax.
i wun push u? i just want u to learn to let go what's not yours and what's not gonna be yours!
its gonna hurt. once and for all. JUST DO IT!
words that are true from fatty
11:50 AM
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
just a simple question, rounded in my mind.
am i forgotten?
words that are true from fatty
10:32 PM
